Revelations and profunditities!!!

Oh my GOD!!! It's like I've suddenly realised why we all love show business!!! It's fundacutely because deep down, EVERYONE LIKES DRESSING UP!!!! This instant and somewhat alarming apercu (look it up, it's a French word) came to me this afternoon when I was soaking in my bath here in Tifton (where I live), listening to the gorgeous Elaine Page talking about musical theatre (a neglected genre, as I'm sure we can all attest to) on BBC's Radio 2: Elaine's silvery tongue has of course adorned some of the greatest musicals of the 19th century and above, and it's no coincidence that I called my pet hamster Elaine before she died (my hamster, not Ms Page!!!). All of which brings me rather cleverly and neatly to my other revelation and profundititity: that it is MY DESTINY TO BECOME A LEADING VANGUARD OF THE THEATRE!!!!

Now I know that might come across as a bit smug and possibly arrogant, but it is because there's a young director called Shea Thurrock (my guess is she's from Essex) apparently who is already a very leading young theatre personage in the World of Theatre!!! I owe this piece of info from my good pal Gene David Kirk (see link to his truly insightless blog, right - or click on his name here). Gene is lucky to be working with Shea on several productions soon... And personally, I think this is great news!!! Especially as one of them is a revival of that fine oeuf of the 1970s, GODSPEL!!!! My mum used to play the original cast recording all the time when I was growing up and so I am litreally hotwired by the songs!!! "Prrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepaaaaare ye the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay of the Looooooooooooooooooooooooooord!" as Jeremy Irons so rightly sang before he became humourless and boring!!!!

All of which leads me to the conclusion: we who are unnaturately gifted OWE it (my caps) to our brethren to spread the Gospel of Theatricalitude!!!! Go, my brethers, and multiply the teachings of Theatreness!!!

The lonely turf

Well, I finally wowed them with my beautifully staged presentation!!! This has been an incredulously stressful time in my life, but only because I will insist on EXCELLENCE!!! After all, what is theatre without excellence? (And vica versi, of course!!!) Many of my fellow MFA students seemed a tad nervous about the presentations... Obviously they had failed to put in the work what I did. This is simply not good enough and I may well have to email Vernon with my misgivings... For instance, Fiona Pith, who has been attached to the Gunston Players in Tifton did a positivly WOEFUL 20 minutes on "Why Metatheatricality and Abstinence Accords With Twenty-First Century Stage Praxis"... which is, like, so last century. And Foster Urgent, a rather tall and slightly menacing student, produced a banana and simply ate it for twenty minutes very slowly... THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, PEOPLE!!! DO YOU WANT TO BE MASTERS OF FINE ART OR DON'T YOU??? Anyway, soon it weas my turn and I think the judging panel (Vernon; Wally Grey from the Orange Cheese Theatre and a great friend; radio actress Glenda Mint (love her work); and Carpenter Shedd, the original course instigationist) immediately felt relaxed, knowing pearls were going to be forthcoming.

My subject and title (which I had changed after much reflexology and self-questioning) was: WHITHER ART? A SURVEY OF CURRENT METHOLODOGIES AND INTERSTICESES and I began as I intended with the following:

"In my survey of current praxis in the theatrical world of theatre it has strucked me many times (pause) that THEATRE IS ALSO AN ART. By wich I do not of course aver that it is not also a SCIENCE (very long pause), but that it is finally and uneradicably an ART. To back up my praxis I visited a PLAY... (first slide: a programme for my play, to illustrate my argument) But that was scarce enough, for I also READ THIS PLAY (new slide: me reading quietly). This illustrates two different factors which I believe COMBINE (next slide: an armlock) to give us a RESULT (final slide: a happy face)..."

I continued in this fashion somewhat longer than I intended, but 90 mins of me is usually worth it, and I could tell from the silence at the end that people did not know what to say when I finally wrapped proceedings...

No-one spoke to me, not even in the pub afterwards, but then directing is a lonely business at the best of times (Harriet Marriott was always telling me that at The Royal Shrug - well, before her op, of course), and I am ready to plough the lonely turf...

All I have learnt from today is three things:

1) Theatre is INTELLECTUALITY combined with PASSION
2) Art is not ENOUGH: you have to have TIME
3) I am beyond most of my peers in my GRASP of the ESSENTIALATE

I feel ready for my next challenges!!!

Help requested for my upcoming assessment

Next week is my first ever assessment thingy!!! Very exciting because I'm going to be judged on things like haircut, intensity of expression, seriousnessness, and (most importantly) IMPORTANCENESS!!! Anyway, here is a little taster of what I shall be doing as my presentation. I will be bringing a small CD player so that I can be accompanied by some Tschaikovsky - music is integral to performance and this will be a performance, albeit one without my usual set and costume changes:

Darkness. A hush. Enter THE STUDENT. Distant music (Tschaikovsky).

STUDENT: My experience at The Royal Shrug was not without paradigms or syntax. (Pause.) Effectively, it was what all theatre should be. It was and remains an artistic synthesis of values, committed by, to and for: The Other. (Pause.) Ergo. (Pause.) What it can NEVER be is WITHOUT. For what is outside the ACT is withoutside the ART. (Long pause.) Allow me to explain, and if not explain, then explicate...

This is just a rough outline of what I choose to call my Overture. I will of course decorate it with slides and conjecture to keep it thrilling (in an intellectual way)... I expect I'll get an A++++ but I must remain indifferent, if only for the sake of my fellow students. They may be less gifted but they have their talents, I'm sure...

Watch this space!! And do please offer critiques and observations: I may not be able to reply individuously but I will read every one and I'm sure they will be useful!!!

Tifton graduate wins award!!!

2004 Tifton MFA graduate, Evan Think, receives his Empty Theatre award

Evan was a legend during his time at Tifton. Vernon says he's the brightest young student he's ever had the pleasure to teach. I'm delighted for him, and for the theatre business to which he now applies his considerable gifts of dramaturgy and other stuff... His static production of Wozzeck (performed entirely without an audience) also garnered twelve nominations. Well done, Evan!!!

The rest is...

Another week has gone by and you may have noticed I have been silent. Fear not - it is an angry silence... I have just been told by Mum that we are in the middle of a GENERAL ELECTION!!! Excuse me, but how come I am the last to know??? Needless to say, I elected not to vote!!! That'll teach Tony Blair and his cronies!!! I was one of the few people to protest about Iraq - WAKE UP, ENGLAND!!! - and the thought that Mr Blair might carry on his wayward ways makes me consider giving up my MFA!!! I've organised a petition with Col. If it's sucessfull we may turn it into a contempory hard-hitting musical extravaganza... It reads thusly:

We, the undersigned, OBJECT to Tony Blair and will NOT be saying anything while he remains PRIME MINISTER of our lands.

Only thusly can we register our OBJECTIONS, readers!!!

I hope you will understand if my blog goes into pained silence for a few days... Not only as a form of silent protest, but also because I still have to write my assessment and time is pressing... Forwards, not back!!! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? We are the real alternative!!!