I simply have to create art

Woke up last night in a cold sweat: time is ebbing away and I realise that I simply have to create art. For many people, this is simply not an option, either because of their stupidity, or their lack of intelligence, or (in some cases) both. For me it is an imperature and one I cannot hide. If theatre is about anything it is about how we live (I hope Prat doesn't mind me quoting him direct). Therefore it is behoven unto me to create relivant art, and after much thought I have settled on a promenade production of the Balkan Wars, which happened quite literaly about ten years ago here on this planet. I will research this and write it up as drama. I see it as being quite long and quite static, a kind of sequel to my playlet BRIEF CANDLE (which I've now decided is not strictly National Theatre material - I have sent it direct to the Theatre Culturel de Chamonix et Aix-en-Cocottes, whose artistic director is the infamous Frederic Con.) The arc of my Projet Balkanique will be the ten years over which it took place, my central characters the Balkanese themselves - I feel it behoven that my drama should concentrate on the simple peasant folk who inhabit these backward lands. I see it staged in a deserted warehouse or car park, open to the elements but with free baked potatoes.

Anyway, tomorrow I begin my important assistantship at The Royal Shrug in North London. My understandable excitement is tempered only by growing confidence that I truly am gifted and incredibly unique. I mustn't allow such thoughts howsomever to give way to hubrisity...

Regular readers of my blog will have noticed that I have stopped using exclamation marks: this is a temporary decision. I noticed that Roland Butter never uses them (I'm reading his seminal opus Without Punctuation: A Hypocrite's Guide) and they give his words a weight it actually lacks. Which I find tres charmon (my italics)...